basil

Well that sucked.

SOMEONE YOINKED THE WHOLE "REWRITE" FROM THE DISCORD SERVER AND UPLOADED IT??? SO NOW I JUST??? HAVE IT???

Every single person on Tumblr is ungrateful and insane

I'm sorry things didn't work out Samael. IS your sister single though.

This is me playing with jpegs like dolls by the way everybody's playersexual. In MYYYYYY beautiful mind palace I. Hold on lemmie write this out actually. Spoilers incoming I guess idk it's Vampire Harvest Moon/Stardew Valley/Animal Crossing it's not that deep

Everyone's playersexual, but in my beautiful mind palace: -Saga is a lesbian -Orlock is, by virtue of being like 3000 years old, old enough to remember when you simply did not Talk about your liaisons with men. If you ask he'll say he's straight. He and mayor Brook have been giving each other meaningful glances for the last 15-20 years. -Ludo is bi he's just a bit stupid so as A Youth he goes back and forth between identifying as straight and gay because he forgets for a while you can be something else. -Kim thinks that she's straight, has some kind of Divine Revelation at some point in her life and realizes she's more like the kind of bisexual whose attracted mostly to women and 20-30% to men. -TAE IS A GAY MAN. I THINK IT MIGHT BE HOMOPHOBIC TO ROMANCE HIM AS A WOMAN. Non-binary people as always are a case by case basis. -Winston would not realized he is bisexual unless a male MC romanced him, at which point he would have a 48 hour crisis about it and then promptly get over it to have a DIFFERENT, much LONGER crisis, as he decides being attracted to vampires is MUCH worse than being attracted to men. -This isn't a sexuality headcanon I just REALLY think Aras should've been non-binary. That is a they/he transmasc with a pastel goth Tumblr blog from 2011. You can't fool me. Everybody else knows they're bisexual in ways that are much less interesting here. The most notable is I think Ridge fully identified as a gay bear for a long time before meeting whoever Ludo's mother was and going OHHHHH (<- There's no "blob wolf" emojis on here pretend the fox is a wolf)

I have a whole Pepe Silvia board in my head about how this woman is bipolar. I almost typed bisexual but that too probably.

I am full of spinach and feta and orzo and I will never have problems again

[Shooting upright in my seat] Does this make her a chaser for vampires,

But yeah, lots of "The creatures that delve here..." and "We dwelled too deep..." and so on. Been meaning to try a translation patch but I don't want to get too far away from authorial intent. Plus, in Termina's case, I tend to chalk up every typo to "hardly any of these people are native English speakers in canon, they're all barely understanding each other to begin with"

ON MY WAY TO LABS APPOINTMENT AT LOCAL DOCTOR'S OFFICE. I HAVE SPENT ALL DAY WAITING FOR THIS BECAUSE I HAVE ADHD (REAL, NOT TIKTOK VERSION) AND TIME MANAGEMENT IS TERRIFYING.

END UP CALLING LYFT VERY CLOSE TO THE TIME I NEED TO LEAVE BECAUSE I LIVE WITH WILD ANIMALS.

GO OUT ON THE FRONT PORCH TO WAIT FOR HIM, HE'S ALREADY THERE.

STUMBLE INTO THE LYFT GOING "Sorry that took so long, sorry, sorry!"

NO RESPONSE FROM DRIVER.

LOOK DOWN AT PHONE.

"Your Driver will be here in 3 minutes."

the fear.jpg

ASSUME THE BEST, TRY TO TELL HIM I MIGHT'VE GOTTEN IN THE WRONG LYFT AND ASK IF HE'S GOING TO [NAME OF DOCTOR'S OFFICE].

IN A LANGUAGE I CANNOT PLACE, HE WORRIEDLY AND APOLOGETICALLY TELLS ME HE CANNOT SPEAK ENGLISH.

I ASK IF HE'S [NAME OF DRIVER], HE REPLIES IN THE AFFIRMATIVE DESPITE LOOKING NOTHING LIKE THE PICTURE.

AS I TYPE SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF THIS WHOLE STORY APPENDED WITH "Now, far be it from me to racially profile this gentleman, but there IS a more-than-zero percent chance I'm about to get crazymurdered." IT FAILS TO SEND BECAUSE MY FUCKING PHONE WON'T CONNECT TO THE INTERNET, THE SILVER LINING OF WHICH IS THAT IT REASSURES ME THERE IS IN FACT A ZERO PERCENT CHANCE OF ME GETTING CRAZYMURDERED. I DON'T REALLY LOOK LIKE MY PHOTO EITHER.

FINE FELLOW KEEPS DRIVING BUT HE'S TAKING A WEIRD ROUTE. I DECIDE IT WOULD BE INSENSITIVE OF ME TO REMAIN CONCERNED AND I LET HIM GO ABOUT HIS BUSINESS.

WITH A GROWING HORROR, I WATCH AS HE PULLS INTO THE WRONG DOCTOR'S OFFICE.

I FUCKING PUT IN THE WRONG ADDRESS BECAUSE THERE'S MULTIPLE LOCATIONS FOR THE SAME PRACTICE IN MY TOWN.

APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY, TELL HIM I PUT IN THE WRONG ADDRESS BUT "I'll just walk, I'll still tip you don't worry, sorry, sorry, my fault."

TRAMP HAPHAZARDLY ACROSS THE LAWN.

BEGIN CHANTING "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." THE SECOND I'M OUT OF EARSHOT.

DESPERATELY TRY TO PILOT MY WAY TOWARDS THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE DESPITE NOT KNOWING ANY OF THE ROADS BECAUSE I AM A SHUT-IN.

STUMBLE DOWN AN ALLEY INTO AN UNFAMILIAR NEIGHBORHOOD, DESPERATELY TRYING TO PLACE LOOSE LANDMARKS FROM THE SINGLE DIGIT NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE BEEN ON MY OWN IN THIS PART OF TOWN.

AFTER AN EXCRUCIATING FEW MINUTES, I BEGIN RECOGNIZING WHERE I AM, AND USING THE GOAL POSTS OF "BIG FUCKOFF CHURCH" AND "BIG FUCKOFF BUS STATION" I MAKE MY WAY TO THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE ACROSS SOME TRULY HOMICIDAL MIDDAY TRAFFIC.

MY APPOINTMENT IS AT 2:30, AND AT THIS POINT I'VE BEEN LOOKING DOWN AND SEEING "2:13" "2:19" "2:26" ON MY PHONE AND HEARING THE SONIC DROWNING MUSIC EACH TIME.

THE BLESSED HOLY GATES OF THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE FADE INTO VIEW AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN EASILY 5+ YEARS, I RUN.

AND GET LIKE HALFWAY THERE AND THEN GO BACK TO WALKING SO I DON'T PASS OUT. PHONE SAYS 2:40. I AM FUCKED.

BARELY REMEMBER TO SLAM MY FINGER ON THE INTERCOM BUTTON INSTEAD OF TRYING TO OPEN AN ELECTRONICALLY LOCKED DOOR.

"HHhhii this isBasil [Deadsurname] ccan I. I have. An appointment, for. Labs."

"[crackle crackle] Fleeble wubble hubba?"

"[on the verge of death] Whah,"

"[crackle crackle] I said, do you have any covid- or flu-like symptoms?"

"Oh. [too long pause] No."

I DRAG MYSELF IN AND THE ELECTRONIC KIOSK I AM DIRECTED TO IS ASKING ME FOR A LOGIN TO A SERVICE I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF. I WEAKLY TAP WHATEVER BUTTONS I THINK WILL MAKE THIS GO AWAY AND THE NICE LADY AT THE DESK SAYS "Oh, sorry, is it logging out again? Try the other one over there."

I TRY THE OTHER ONE OVER THERE.

AFTER ENOUGH BUTTON PRESSING, I CONVINCE THE ELECTRICAL MENACE THAT I AM ME. IT TELLS ME I MUST WAIT TO BE CALLED.

I SIT, REALIZE I SHOULD GO SIT NEAR WHERE BOTH OF THE FANS ARE, GET UP AND GO SIT OVER THERE INSTEAD.

THE NICE LADY AT THE DESK IMMEDIATELY CALLS ME OVER AND INFORMS ME I MUST FILL OUT MULTIPLE PAGES OF WHATEVER.

I SIT IN THE CHAIR IN FRONT OF HER DESK AND TRY TO COMPREHEND WHAT MY NAME AND HOME ADDRESS WERE, CENTURIES AGO BEFORE THIS JOURNEY STARTED.

I LEAVE VISIBLE SWEAT PATCHES ON THE PAPER. IDLY, I TELL HER MY TALE OF SORROW. AND ALSO THAT I DO NOT RECALL MY SOCIAL SECURITY. SHE SAYS THAT'S FINE.

I PLOP BACK DOWN IN MY SEAT AND AM SHORTLY JOINTED IN THE FAN SECTION BY A WOMAN AND HER BABY, THE FORMER OF WHICH IS SMART ENOUGH TO USE ONE OF THE USELESS INFORMATIONAL PAMPHLETS AS A HAND FAN AND I AUDIBLY RESPOND TO THIS ACTION WITH "Ohthass ahgood ideuh", GRAB A FLIMSY ONE, PUT IT BACK, AND GRAB A SLIGHTLY LESS FLIMSY ONE.

IT IS FOR THEIR BEHAVIORAL HEALTH DEPARTMENT. THAT'S LIFE.

IF THERE IS A WIFI PASSWORD, I DO NOT KNOW IT AND DO NOT KNOW WHERE TO FIND IT. I SIT IN SILENCE.

WE FAN OURSELVES-- HER FANNING HER BABY MORE THAN HERSELF, REALLY --FOR MANY MINUTES UNTIL HER NAME IS CALLED. THE KINDEST MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL ON PLANET EARTH COMES OUT AND HANDS ME A STYROFOAM CUP OF WATER. I INFORM HER ALSO OF MY TALE OF SORROW AND LOOKS LIKE SHE WANTS TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE EXISTENCE OF THE SUN. THE NICE LADY AT THE DESK GETS UP TO BRING THE CLIPBOARD TO ME, RATHER THAN MAKING ME WALK OVER, BECAUSE I MISSED A SIGNATURE. TIME MOVES AT A GLACIAL PACE, WHICH WOULD FEEL GREAT AT THE TIME IF THAT WERE LITERAL.

EVENTUALLY, MY NAME IS CALLED. I RECITE TO THE NURSE MY TALE OF SORROW AND SHE'S LIKE "Oh my God".

I WAIT OUTSIDE THE PHLEBOTOMIST'S OFFICE UNTIL MY NAME IS, ONCE AGAIN, CALLED. I RECITE TO THE PHLEBOTOMIST MY TALE OF SORROW AND SHE'S LIKE "Oh my God" BUT IN A FUNNY WAY. APPARENTLY EVERYTHING I SAY IS INCREDIBLY FUNNY AND CHARMING TO HER. THIS IS THUS FAR THE GREATEST MERCY OF MY DAY.

WE HAVE A GENUINELY PLEASANT CONVERSATION AS SHE STEALS MY BLOOD AND THEN I GET UP AND BEGIN THE ARDUOUS TREK TO... THE NICE LITTLE COFFEE HOUSE I PLANNED TO TRY BEFORE I EVEN LEFT BECAUSE FUCK IF I'M WALKING BACK WITHOUT ANY STOPS, AND TWO LYFT PURCHASES IN ONE DAY SEEMED SOMEHOW LESS REASONABLE THAN A LYFT AND A SANDWICH.

I KNOW THEY CLOSE AT 4:00 PM BECAUSE I CHECKED. IT'S 3:30. I AM AN ASSHOLE.

GO IN ANYWAY. EXHAUSTED YOUNG WOMAN LOUNGING IN A CHAIR IMMEDIATELY GETS UP AND TO MY DISMAY I SEE THE LOGO OF THE CAFE ON THE BACK OF HER HOODIE. I AM COMMITTING A CRIME ALL OF MY RETAIL AND FOOD SERVICE FRIENDS CAN NEVER FORGIVE. BUT ALSO, IF I WALK HOME WITHOUT MORE WATER AND AIR CONDITIONING I WILL DIE.

STARE FOR AN EXCEEDINGLY LONG TIME AT THE MENU BEFORE I DECIDE ON MY DRINK (FRUITY GAY KIWI COCONUT THING) AND SANDWICH (MOSTLY NORMIE INGREDIENTS BUT THERE'S ARUGULA AND SOME SORT OF ODD JAM IN THERE). PAY AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE WITH A LARGE TIP AND NO RECEIPT BECAUSE I CAN SEE THE LIFE LEAVING THIS GIRL'S EYES IN REAL TIME.

IF THERE IS A WIFI PASSWORD, I DO NOT KNOW IT AND DO NOT KNOW WHERE TO FIND IT. I SIT IN SILENCE.

I BRIEFLY PONDER THAT IT'D BE PRETTY INCONVENIENT IF I DID GET CRAZYMURDERED TODAY, BECAUSE THERE WOULDN'T BE A LOT OF WAYS TO GET MY LAST WORDS OUT INTO THE WORLD. I WRITE "No internet in here. If I get crazymurdered it wasn't a suicide" IN MY NOTES APP FOR THE PIGS WHO FIND MY BODY IN A DITCH OUTSIDE TOWN.

MY DRINK COMES FIRST AND AS I SIT BACK DOWN AT A DIFFERENT SPOT BECAUSE THIS PLACE IS BOTH HUGE AND EMPTY, I SEE A LITTLE FLYER FOR THE CHARITY THIS PLACE DONATES TO AND REALIZE THIS IS A GOD-FEARING, MADE PROUDLY IN U S OF A, CHRISTIAN ESTABLISHMENT. AND I HAVE JUST GIVEN THEM MONEY I CANNOT TAKE BACK.

READER, I KNOW NOW WHAT I MUST DO.

I DRINK MY-- APPARENTLY, UNINTENTIONALLY --GAY LITTLE DRINK AND AWAIT MY STRANGE LITTLE SANDWICH. BEGRUDGINGLY, I ADMIT TO MYSELF THAT BOTH ARE DELICIOUS, BUT PERHAPS I AM SIMPLY DELIRIOUS FROM THE HEAT. AFTER I AM DONE I PLACE MY EMPTY CONTAINERS IN THE NEAREST GARBAGE CAN AND TURN SWIFTLY UPON MY HEEL TO THE-- APPARENTLY, INTENTIONALLY --GENDER NEUTRAL BATHROOMS.

LATCHING THE DOOR, I LOOK TO MY PURSE. IT IS NOW THAT MY GRIM WORK BEGINS.

THERE NOW RESTS A TRANS PRIDE STICKER ON THE MOST INCONVENIENT-TO-REMOVE-BUT-OBVIOUS-TO-ANYONE-IN-THE-ROOM-FOR-MORE-THAN-A-MINUTE PLACE ON THEIR TOILET. I FEEL BAD FOR THE WOMAN WHO WILL INEVITABLY HAVE TO SCRAPE THIS OFF, BUT TRULY NOT BAD ENOUGH TO NOT DO IT. SHE WILL LIVE. IN A WORLD LIKE THIS YOU AND I, READER, MAY NOT.

I WALK VERY DELIBERATELY-- NOT TOO FAST, NOT TOO SLOW --OUT OF THE ESTABLISHMENT AND UP THE ROAD BACK TO MY INVOLUNTARY DOMICILE. MY SMUGNESS DOES NOT OUTWEIGH THE BLISTERING HATRED OF THE SKY ORB RAINING DOWN INDISCRIMINATELY UPON THE GENERAL POPULACE. AT LEAST, TO HER, I AM AN EQUAL.

AFTER WHAT I ASSUME WAS EIGHT THOUSAND YEARS WHERE VERY LITTLE HAPPENED UPON THE BOILING UPHILL SIDEWALK, I TRUDGE STRAIGHT ACROSS THE WOEFULLY BARE LAWN, THROUGH THE DOOR, UP THE STAIRS, INTO MY COOL DARK ROOM (IN BOTH SENSES OF THOSE WORDS) AND AM POSSESSED WITH THE URGE TO NEARLY ENTIRELY DISROBE.

REALIZING I HAVE INTERNET AGAIN, I CHECK MY PHONE.

READER.

READER, IT WAS 97 FUCKING DEGREES OUTSIDE. "Feels like 111", THE TWEE LITTLE WEATHER APPLICATION SAYS.

NO, READER. NO, IT DOES NOT. IT FEELS LIKE THE UNIVERSE CONSPIRING AGAINST ME. IT FEELS LIKE HUMANITY ITSELF BARELY SURVIVING ITS OWN IGNORANCE AND STUPIDITY, HANGING BY ITS FINGERNAILS UPON THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS. IT FEELS LIKE DECADES OF LABYRINTHINE CITY PLANNING AND GENTRIFICATION AND CRUMBLING INFRASTRUCTURE HAVE JUST TRIED TO QUASH ME BENEATH THEIR UNYIELDING BOOT, AND I, A LOWLY INSECT AMONG THE POWERS THAT BE, HAVE MANAGED TO ESCAPE WITH MY LIFE. FOR NOW.

YES I TIPPED MY DRIVER WHEN I HAD INTERNET AGAIN.

Sorting through selfies now that I'm home and I accidentally took a four second video while I was adjusting poses. Seeing myself In Motion and not in a mirror (or, technically yes in a mirror, but you know what I mean) is weird. When the hell did I get so hot lmao

Making the conscious decision to go back to being nocturnal for the next few days until this weather sorts itself out. I spent a lot of today Warm And Angry.

None of this is a dunk on Samael by the way I think he needs a beautiful twink who thinks they can "fix" him

It's ONLY the nails on the fingers I've been sticking in the bag the most too. This mystery literally solves itself.

I'll admit I've gone around saying some choice words about Older Fictional Women I Would Like To Be Mean To Me but honestly that's mostly because if you don't specify then you get every Other fictional woman, who is like, 22 at maximum and looks like she's 15. What I really want is A Woman Who Looks Like An Adult, the actual numbers matter very little beyond of course the old half-your/their-age-plus-7 rule.

Considering she's one of the game's many LI's like. It IS on the menu for her, clearly. Alright girl live your truth.

Fuck it I'm doing the old "Paste it in my Tumblr drafts" trick, expect to see a fucking novel imminently

I don't want to sleep, I want to magically regain all of my energy so I can keep messing around on the internet

I like that the previous post is tagged 'horror'. You're right, Mr. Annable. There IS something unnerving about those flounders.

Once again: I don't want to sleep, I just want to Stop Being Tired

Peering over the fence at the IWTV fandom as an outsider is very interesting right now. I think this is a good example of why you should never become a fan of a television show that is still on-going.

IT'S ALL AISLOP AND HORNBALL SHIT NOW. I MISS ALEX AND ANNET SO BAD IT'S UNREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not even saying something fruity happened I'm saying she got to dance with two pretty girls at The Club and it activated her sleeper agent. Mina and Elvira end the night like "omg bestiesssss XDDDD this was so much fun!!!!" and posting blurry Instagram photos and meanwhile Kim swims back home and stares at the ceiling of her bedroom like God I'm so fucking glad I didn't get married

Everybody's offline (Something something, 'friend who is asleep is a type of dead wife' post, etc.) and so now he is christened before the lord: Porcifer (Porcine + Lucifer)

Finished my first year in Moonlight Peaks, wherein I got a girlfriend, got to maximum friendship with almost everyone, experienced what I think may be at least 65-70% of the Major Overarching Plot, collected 95 Soul Blobs and 96 Vampsters, acquired a full Nokturna deck (barring repeats) and a near foolproof strategy, unlocked all but one major location and filled out approximately 68% of the museum. I Think I Might Like This Game [falls over immediately]

TERRIBLE NEWS: EVERYONE'S OFFLINE AND I NEED TO NAME A DRACULAMB (Juvenile vampiric sheep, of course). AND I CAN'T LEAVE BECAUSE THE BEAUTIFUL AUTISTIC WOMAN SELLING IT TO ME WILL GO "Aw it looks so sad :(" AND THEREFORE MY LIFE WILL BE OVER.

Holy SHIT Koji Suzuki died last month??? And he was only 68????? Fucking hell. I suppose there's no better motivation to finally finish the original Ring novel than that. Hats off to a legend.

Meeting adjourned. Its Name Is Now Tupperwupper.

APPROXIMATELY 6 HOURS 10 MINUTES AND 40 SECONDS INTO THIS VIDEO AND FUNNY YOUTUBE MAN HITS ME WITH "MEN ARE NATURALLY AND STATISTICALLY STRONGER THAN WOMEN" I FORGOT GAMERS AREN'T HUMAN

There was a raccoon outside but I didn't get a picture!!! Aaaaaa!!!!!

Entirely forgot that it is possible to become tired from good things as well as bad things. Drafting a letter of complaint as we speak.

Recycled this joke wholesale from Discord but in my defense, it describes EXACTLY how I'm feeling post-game.

"Cool looking disposable lighter from nearest gas station or corner store" is LITERALLY on my list of personal groceries it's just been too goddamn hot to go for a walk

>Discovers that Silent Hill: Townfall didn't get turbocancelled and has an actual Steam listing :D >Takes place in Scotland, making this the second recent Silent Hill game that in no way shape or form takes place in the town of Silent Hill, Maine D:

APPARENTLY it's finished and there's a "site being made to host it". Wow. Almost like you had a perfectly good website for it for years that you threw in the garbage.

Excellent. Obviously the most important thing to do before therapy was watch a scary horror video and get sosososo scared 👍

I CAN'T NAME IT MORNING STAR BECAUSE FUCKING HAZBIN "RACISM" "ABLEISM" "TRULY INSANE MISOGYNY COMING FROM A WOMAN OF ALL PEOPLE" HOTEL FUCKING NAMED A CHARACTER THAT, SO IT IS LITERALLY RUINED FOREVER UNTIL THE END OF TIME. I'm gonna spend all day trying to name this beast.

I still maintain that Butcher Vanity is in no way even remotely a good song but I DO like that it has functionally given Yi Xi a pretty good commonly accepted character design AND has made everyone agree she is a cannibal. We needed more straight up evil vocal synth girlies. Just some real freaks.

And to think I almost passed it up because it looked too twee and cutes...