Remote
Riley
@RileyGecko@aethy.com
mastodon 4.3.0-alpha.1Just some weird gecko boy. Ageplayer/middle with lots of interests, lewd and non-lewd.
18+ only. Expect NSFW posts and boosts!
Pro-contact paraphiles DNI. Any non-fictional discussion that involves anything but consenting adults = blocked/reported
137 Followers
606 Following
49 Posts
Joined July 02, 2023
Age:
Early 30's
Gender:
Riley is a boy, OOC I'm nonbinary (he/him and they/them are both fine!)
Sexuality:
Pansexual
Replying to
Like cognitively I understand that I'm an adult, and I only have sexual/romantic interest in other adults.
But having to act like one is literally the worst. Why can't I run and jump? Why can't I buy light-up shoes in my size? x(
Me: "I wish I was an anime figurine in a shared apartment full of cumtributers 🥰"
My fairy godparents: "Why did we end up with the perverted kid..."
I need a parent or older sibling who's nice to me and also kisses me on the lips
Here at Riley's Cleaning Service, we hire the most disinterested and uncaring boys and girls to ignore your needs!
- They will drink your soda
- Nothing will be cleaned (GUARANTEED!)
- The boys wear maid outfits too
- Any request will be answered with either "In a minute" or "do it yourself"
- They will roll their eyes at your tip and sarcastically belt out a "gee, thanks"
I still remember when the majority of accessible western cartoon porn online was drawn ironically terrible for comedic effect
I was thinking about Steve Irwin holding me like this while educating viewers about my habits and how friendly I am to humans and what I like to eat
I don't know where it came from, but it was a comforting thought 
RIP Steve
That's it. I'm forming a kiddo army.
They can't defeat all of us :blobcatevil:
I enjoy slice of life because I don't have one ok
ANTI: "WARNING!!! ______ has an INKBUNNY where they draw CUB ART"
ME: They draw WHAT? You don't say! Thanks for bringing this to my attention. *follows them* can never be too careful *likes all their art* Lemme know if there are more problematic artists to keep away from! *joins their subscribestar*
My home timeline and notifications are about 4 days behind lately.
I'm guessing it's just some form of temporary server issue, but just letting it be known that I'm not ignoring anyone intentionally :wolf_nervous:
Cartoon boys and girls with braces are so cute 
I'm a good boy
...
most of the time :blobcatadorable:
My main conspiracy theory I believe is that companies simplified their logos purely as a corporate bravado dickwaving game.
"Oh, your company's logo is two interlocking circles? well, ours is the letter G"
I'm like if Tails was a human
and really perverted
Susie Deltarune
Riley sitting on a couch while every cartoon bully is looming behind it
Replying to
Normal people probably have sex fantasies and I'm just over here like "I wish I could slip a valentine through his locker vents 😔"
Dipper Pines is one of the few cartoon boys I like to imagine aged up.
I bet he's super handsome and nice and he drives a two seater truck so if you ride with him you gotta sit really close and I bet he smells nice and.. andd...
boys 😣
What's up gamers
I love how all you have to do is type "Folgers" and Youtube's autofill is like "yep, we know what you're looking for"
I don't know why, but I find this scenario really cute:
Someone in a maid outfit, but lazing around with it on. Playing video games, just flopped over the couch.
"Don't you have a job to do?"
"Five more minuuutteeessss"
locks doors, closes window blinds and shades, activates house perimeter alarms, hides under blanket, whispers quietly
"boys holding hands"
Replying to
Bunch of pervs :sylveon_smug:
(It's okay I am too and ilu all 
)
)Green boy summer 😎
Replying to
If you also abandoned the place long ago, you may be shocked to learn that it's even worse now.
I didn't know this before making the burner, but they're allowing people to take the usernames of abandoned accounts. It's a Premium-only feature, because OF COURSE it's paywalled, but yeah. If the account has been dormant for some time, someone can apparently just swipe the username now.
Wouldn't be a bad idea at face value to free up usernames if the account has no posts/bio/pfp and has been sitting in that state since like 2009, but I don't have that much stock in the decisionmaking over at that cesspool and I can easily imagine how such a feature can be used to create a world of chaos.
I love Rhonda from Hey Arnold. She's SUCH A JERK at the beginning but there are quite a few episodes that show her growing as a person and developing empathy, and I am a sucker for that kind of thing :squid_cry:
Replying to
I don't know why Beast Boy wanted me to ask this :blobcatthink:
*standing before congress, engaging in a filibuster*
The following is a list of cartoon characters whose toes I want to kiss...
Lincoln Loud my boyfriend
my boyfriend Lincoln Loud
h ell o have you nmet my boyf riend Lincokb Loufn
Guys GUYS THEY'RE MAKING SHOTA NINJA TURTLES
I'm gonna beat up Pete and steal PJ and be his boymom
When I become ruler of the world, I wanna hire the archery youtuber who can hit bullseyes while hanging from a stripper pole to be my bodyguard
Replying to
@dorkboydrake I wasn't, but after seeing this I might need to cancel everything for the next 10 years! :HOT:
Replying to
@sugawr@aethy.com as a (adult IRL) shota, I agree this is the best way
...but I'm not whiny! >_<
Shannon from Home Movies is the most polite bully I've ever seen